The Temple Guy: Holy Humor

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Entertainment and Enlightenment!

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This page is basically a "dump" where I keep funny stuff I read--but stuff with a point.  When the page gets large, I'll just add page two, page three, etc., without any attempt at organization. Browse away!



So much humor comes from Zen and Tao.  And the Discordians wallow in it!  Excerpts stolen from Chapter 8 of Kerry Thornley's Zenarchy.  (See my Linkin' Log for more info on Thornley and Discordianism.)

The Shortest Theological Debate in History

Ho Chi Zen: "What is God like?" 

Tom: "Somebody. I don't care." 

Satori Story

One of Ho Chi Zen's students asked him, "What was the occasion of your enlightenment?"

Ho replied: "I forget." 

Reader's Digest Zen

This true story was actually published in one of the humor sections of Reader's Digest many years ago:

At an interdenominational religious conference in Hawaii, a Japanese delegate approached a fundamentalist Baptist minister and said, "My humble superstition is Buddhism. What is yours?"

Three in the Morning

Chuang Tzu said: "A keeper of monkeys told them, 'I will give you three nuts in the morning and four in the evening.' That made them mad, so he said, 'Very well. I will give you four in the morning and three in the evening.' That made them happy." 

Words of a Zen Anarchist Poet

Says Gary Snyder, "Three-fourths of philosophy and literature is the talk of people trying to convince themselves that they really like the cage they were tricked into entering."

Zen Judaism

 ...a Rabbi entered the sacred meeting house to find his disciples playing checkers. "Ah, ha!" he exclaimed. "Do you know the rules to the game of checkers?" Too taken back to answer, the young men maintained a guilty silence. So the Rabbi said: "Very well, I will instruct you in the rules to checkers. The first rule is that you can only move forward. The second rule is that you can only make one move at a time. And the third rule is that, upon reaching the back row, you may move in any direction you wish!" 


 Q: How many Vedantins does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three: one to change it, one to not change it and one to both change and not change it.

(from Quotes and Quips at Hinduism Today; go to the Archives and select an issue, then scroll down and click on Quotes and Quips.  I've compiled a few quotes from several issues here.)

(And if you don't get this joke, read this.)


Zen monk to a hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."


It is a well-known idea in Zen (Chan) that one should always be mindful.  A famous saying goes: "When you eat, just eat; when you sleep, just sleep; when you walk, just walk."  This has recently been updated to include a new dictum:

When you multi-task, just multi-task



 

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